Firstly and most importantly, cheer up with the commentary, bro! You were a bit monotonous. I want to support you since you seem like a nice guy so i watched the whole video. Other people who don't know you however, might click away after a few minutes. Don't be afraid to make your voice fluctuate, sing a bit, speak in foreign accents. In other words, loosen up a a bit!
Secondly, if there are parts that take too long like digging or gathering wood, you could fast forward it or just skip it entirely. People like to get to the good stuff quickly.
I would recommend you watch TheRadBrad. He's really fun to watch but doesn't go too over-the-top like Pewdiepie. You've got a gaming channel which is one of the easiest type of channels to get subscribers and views quickly. It all mainly depends on your commentary. Anyway, good luck with the channel! Can't wait to see your next video ;D Live happy!
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