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Where'd I go

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by NCNavy, June 8, 2016.

  1. NCNavy

    NCNavy

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    Hey, so there's no real way to start this than to explain why this wasn't sooner. To be honest, it was probably the fact that I was terrified of facing all the people I let down. Maybe it wasn't a huge "everyone is disappointed in me" kind of thing but after all this community has done for me, you all deserved an explanation or a reason from me for where I went/ why I disappeared. So here it is, over a year late and I am so incredibly sorry. To everyone. I let a bunch of people down, all of my friends I had here. I threw away a really good thing in my life and I'm just now realizing I have a tendency to do that.
    So, here's an explanation even though nobody really cares for one anymore. About a year ago, my personal life took over. It wasn't enough to warrant never coming on this server and talking to you guys, or at least taking half an hour of my time to tell you all what was going on, but I made a bad choice and did neither. I've made a lot of bad choices within that year, and trust me, they all caught up to me and hit me really really hard. I'm not trying to get anyone to pity me, because I'm taking full responsibility for my actions.
    I know it's vague, but I've been trying to put it all behind me and move on (it feels impossible) but I feel if I go too into detail, I'll just be continuing my circle of meditating on it. The most I can share is I now have severe depression and that's how my life had been for the past months, it's horrible. I would never wish this on anyone, even the ones who've caused it.
    I owe everyone a personal apology, and I am more than willing to give them it. I can't apologize to everyone because some people have left (I'm still not sure just how many of my old friends are still here) and I feel horrible for it. I will most likely be on the TeamSpeak tomorrow (and in game), but feel free to convo me about it. If you'd like as well, add me on my more active platforms: I am on Steam, Curse, and League, all under the username DarkishBlue. Thank you for your time, all the time anyone has ever spent on me.

    Truly truly sorry,
    Navy​
     
    bran_bash, iSquared, FaTd33r and 11 others like this.
  2. Goober

    Goober

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    I didn't know you played League... I am terribly sorry for the events that transpired over the past year, even if I don't know every detail. I hope you find something to help you out with the depression and I wish I could do more for you besides say I wish you the best. I will add you on League and hopefully we can play sometime, even if you don't quite remember me.
     
  3. NCNavy

    NCNavy

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    Of course I remember you! Btw, I should have specified that my region is NA (I didnt appear to have a friend request). Thanks for the reply man, Im seeing a therapist so hopefully that'll help... see you in game!
     
  4. Goober

    Goober

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    I haven't been able to get on League yet tonight, should be on soon. I sent you a Friend request on Steam, however.
     
  5. Qazz

    Qazz

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    I never knew you personally, however I'd like to chime in and say that it requires a lot of bravery and maturity to talk about it so publicly, and so honestly. What matters is that it sounds like you're taking steps to resolve whatever is going on in your life. You seem like a strong person, and I'm rather familiar with the feelings involving what you're going through. If you ever need an ear or anything of the sort, I'll definitely be there for you if you ever need someone. I'm on Steam, Facebook, and Discord (sophaea #5619).

    Feel better, and stay strong <3

    ~Kali
     
    thejacoborg, angryjukebox and NCNavy like this.
  6. MasahiroRina

    MasahiroRina

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    When I was diagnosed with depression, the thing that stabilized me the most was knowing that I had someone who would listen to me without judgement or needless advice. I found that in my therapist. It's rare though. I know we've never met, but if you need a friendly ear, don't hesitate to bend mine. :)
     
    NCNavy likes this.
  7. NCNavy

    NCNavy

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    Thanks Qazz ^^ your reply means a lot to me! Ive added you on steam. I hope to see you around :)

    Thank you! I used to have someone like that but they did a complete 180... my therapist is definitely helpful so far. Really sad about how many people have depression :/ its the worst feeling in the world.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: June 10, 2016
    Qazz likes this.
  8. squeezal

    squeezal

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    I remember you from awhile ago, though my memory isn't great and I can't remember if we've talked much. I've only felt what it's like to be depressed once, but that gave me a huge insight into how it feels and I don't know how anyone can deal with it on a continuous basis. If you've faced it this long, I can tell you are stronger than you might think you are. If you ever need a friendly ear, count me in too. I don't get on as often as I'd like any more, but I always check my convos everyday.
     

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