1. Feeling creative, Guest? ImDeity Creative World is for you!
    With 6 ranks and plots from 32x32 up to 512x512!
    Type /creative to join!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Vote for the server daily! Vote for 200 coin!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Guest, do you have too much extra loot? Create an auction!
    The ImDeity Auction System is like free Dei!
    Goto Portal > Auction to create and bid on items!
    Dismiss Notice

NaNoWriMo Sample

Discussion in 'Art of ImDeity: Kingdoms' started by squeezal, November 28, 2016.

  1. squeezal

    squeezal

    • Diamond
    Joined:
    April 2, 2012
    Messages:
    413
    Likes Received:
    429
    Trophy Points:
    368
    In-Game Name:
    squeezal
    Hello! I'm almost done with this year's National Novel Writing Month where you have to write 50000 words in November. This year I'm writing two stories. One based off of dungeons and dragons and another being a fan fiction of the web comic Erfworld, which I highly suggest. As a writer I always like getting feedback so I'm going to post a fight scene and see what people think of it. I hope you enjoy. :)

    The scout's bow twanged. Then twanged again. If there was any hope of the gnolls not knowing they were there, it was probably gone now. But it turned out they were too close for that anyways. They heard a heavy crunching of leaves, accompanied by a wheezing yelp as a hyena like creature threw itself out of the trees at the group. Gyrlak stepped forward and knocked the thing out of the air with a downward swing of his great maul. The gnoll turned over in the air and crumpled up next to the group. The warrior heaved the heavy weapon over his shoulder and bent his knees, waiting for the next attacker.
    Delg would be surprised if they came in ones and twos for long. They were probably circling around. Shapes suddenly materialized out of the foliage. Several of the monsters rushed forwards, crude weapons raised to hack or lowered to skewer. Dodging was easy for Delg as he made a small target. He stepped to his left as an axe came down and cleaved at the offender's torso with his own. The axe went in about half way and lodged in the gnoll's spine. Delg didn't bother trying to wrench it out. He simply dismissed the weapon back to the ether and re-materialized it in his hands. He brought it up and caught a sword on the handle, rushing forwards and headbutting the creature. He stood as he crashed into the beast's legs, lifting it up over himself and dropping it behind him. He couldn't turn to finish it off though because its friend took its place. Delg caught the clumsy spear thrust in one hand and pulled. As the creature came closer, unbalanced, he swung the axe with the other. It sliced through the gnoll's side, which fell with a yelp.
    While the dragon finally had room to use his favored great weapon, it was slow. Delg caught some of the warrior's fighting during his own scuffles and noticed it was almost more of a dance as he set his opponent's up for the slow swings. Weird, he thought, that it should be so graceful with such a giant piece of metal. Gyrlak struck out with the handle, pushing a Gnoll back with the middle of it. Then he turned and caught another in the chin with the pommel. This put the great weight of the maul behind his shoulder. Putting his entire body into the act of swinging it back over, the hammer hit the staggered Gnoll on the shoulder and just kept going. If there was a word for the shape the unfortunate beast made on the ground, Delg didn't know it. Non geometrically speaking the only shape he could suggest was bad. Or possibly worse. The gnoll was all right, but only because he'd completely lost his left side.
    The other gnoll recovered and forced Gyrlak to shift to the side. But this allowed the warrior to put both hands on the end of his maul, which was still on..., and possibly in, the wreckage of the other gnoll. He swung his body back, using the force to swing the hammer around in a swirling arc. The gnoll's crude shield didn't do a damn thing against the force of the blow. He was sent careening away, possibly alive but definitely without intact ribs, judging by the sound.
    Sula didn't move around quite so much. The gnoll's pressed her behind Delg and he silently cursed himself for keeping an eye on the dragon instead of concentrating on his own fighting. The gnolls weren't particularly skilled with their crude weapons, but there were a lot of them. The woman kept her shield up and swung her mace when she felt she could. But with two of the proto hyenas on her, it wasn't often. Delg swung his axe, forcing the gnolls he was fighting to back up. Something pressed into his back. It turned out to be Sula, forced backwards.
    "To the left! Switch!" he yelled, rolling to his right while she rolled to her left. He pushed off of her, axe swirling in the air. Luckily it caught the Gnolls off guard and he managed to cut one down. He muttered as the other gnoll, momentarily frightened, stepped backwards. The pale green light flared on the warlock's hand, which he thrust out. There was a crackling sound as the eldritch bolt of lightning slammed into the fetid creature.
    Sula's back was to him again. He could feel her movements quite clearly and bent over almost double as she rolled over him. He came up swinging and forced two other Gnolls, probably the same he'd been fighting before, to take up defensive postures. But this time Sula swung around again and it was two against two. She caught an axe with the rim of her shield and pushed back. Delg stepped forward with her, bringing the axe around in an overhead chop as she swung her mace. The ax caught the gnoll's spear, which cleaved in two like it was nothing, leaving the gnoll's head exposed, then split. The woman's mace flew toward's the monster's face and its sword came up to parry, but suddenly the mace was flying towards the side he'd just left uncovered. The beast bent with the blow, putting its head closer to Delg, who brought his axe home again.
    The two adventurers looked around, panting but adrenaline pumping. Gyrlak had another gnoll in his teeth, thrashing about. The thing squealed unpleasantly as his jaw clamped into its shoulder. There were a few cracking sounds and the thing went limp. The dragonkin let it fall to the ground and wiped his mouth, working his jaw back and forth a bit. He picked his maul back up and surveyed the scene of carnage in front of them.
    "All clear," Dalul said, from his tree as he put an arrow away. He jumped down and pulled out his knife and set to cutting his arrows out of the dead.
    Gyrlak spat into the remains of the fire and fished around in his mouth. Delg didn't care to ask what of the gnoll might have remained. Besides the taste of course, which must have been unfathomably bad, judging by the smell they'd left behind.
    "Brisk," the warrior commented, putting his maul aside and sitting back down like nothing had ever happened.
    Sula took out her water skin and splashed some on her face. She whipped her hair around and sat down herself next to Delg.
    "Good teamwork," Dalul said calmly, looking at the two. Delg caught his wink. Did he see them talking last night? What did he think it was about? Could he hear them? Did it matter?
    "I'm not much of a fighter," Sula admitted, "I prefer underhanded methods."
    "Well at least you had a dwarf underfoot to help," Gyrlak said.
    "Yes," Sula smiled at him. He thought of her offer again. Could it really be true? He sat down silently and pulled out something for breakfast. Did he want it to be true?
    "Told you I'd smell them," he muttered.
    "Speaking of," The scout wrinkled his nose, "perhaps we should eat on the move?"
     
  2. artsgal

    artsgal

    • Sponsor
    Joined:
    September 21, 2012
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    392
    Trophy Points:
    318
    In-Game Name:
    artsgal
    Your writing skills get better and better. Oh IDK the magic behind the words are awesome! Cool Cool Cool!!!!
     
    JWCuber likes this.
  3. JWCuber

    JWCuber

    • Diamond
    Joined:
    February 28, 2016
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    57
    Trophy Points:
    133
    In-Game Name:
    JWCuber
    Agreed! I love your style my man
     
  4. squeezal

    squeezal

    • Diamond
    Joined:
    April 2, 2012
    Messages:
    413
    Likes Received:
    429
    Trophy Points:
    368
    In-Game Name:
    squeezal
    Thank you! Any criticisms? They're the hardest thing to get, lol. Oh, and I got the bad joke about being all right from a ninety year old man. I wish I could find him again to tell him his joke is in a book. I think he would enjoy that.
     
  5. JWCuber

    JWCuber

    • Diamond
    Joined:
    February 28, 2016
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    57
    Trophy Points:
    133
    In-Game Name:
    JWCuber
    I'm speechless so IDK, you can write better than me that's for sure hehe <3
     
    artsgal likes this.
  6. squeezal

    squeezal

    • Diamond
    Joined:
    April 2, 2012
    Messages:
    413
    Likes Received:
    429
    Trophy Points:
    368
    In-Game Name:
    squeezal
    haha, thanks. Novel number 5. I get a lot of practice :cool:
     
    artsgal and JWCuber like this.

Share This Page