The Cake Is The Truth

Gather around young Deitians, now, I say, gather around, for I have but another story for you. Allow me to ask, do any of you like cake? Well, legend has it that somewhere under the spawn castle, there exists a cake, sweeter than all the confectionary that ever existed, more fragrant than all the flowers combined, and best of all, it allowed whoever ate it to have the ability to know all the secrets and truths he’ll ever need to know.

Earliest known records show that it was first discovered such a long time ago that even ImDeity himself has very faint memory of the cake. No one knows who baked the cake, but everyone back then knew of its power. The problem was…everyone wanted it. I worked with a man named Pennybags once. He was there when the cake was first discovered. I still remember what he told me about what happened that day…

“Mister Pennybags! We found the cake!” a miner shouted from deep in the cave. The other miners dropped their tools and gathered around to take a glimpse at the cake.
“Move aside! Nobody touch that cake! If I see even one finger on it, all of you will lose more than a finger!” Pennybags shouted as he pushed the miners aside. He grinned as soon as he saw the cake.
“At last, The Dead Baker’s cake. After so many months, I finally set my eyes on you. Put it in the safe box and bring to the castle and remember, if the box breaks with the cake in it, so will your bones!”

Back at the castle, the admins discussed over the cake as it sat on the dining table in front of them.
The admin with the glasses stood up. “My countrymen, we finally have The Dead Baker’s cake. With such power, it would be dangerous to leave it just sitting on the table. We must hide it from selfish eyes.”
“Good idea, brother, but where do we keep it?” asked the red admin.
“May I suggest my area of power? It is the safest place in the kingdoms.” Spoke the blue admin.
“How do we know you won’t use the cake for your own selfish purposes? For all we know, you might attempt to overthrow us.” said the red admin.
“May I suggest we each take a bite of the cake? That way, it would be fair. We would have knowledge in us and won’t matter where the cake is hidden.” Said the blue admin.
The other two nodded their heads and cut one slice of cake each.

“That was delicious!” exclaimed the admin with glasses when he took a bite.
“I agree with you, brother. Never have I ever tasted anything so…perfect.” Said the blue admin.
“Right, so where do we hide it, brothers?” said the red admin.
“Not in your place, thief!” said the admin with glasses.
“What happened to my carrots farm? Carrots one day, gone the next. According to the cake I ate, it was you and your men all along!”
“Is this true, brother?” asked the blue admin with a shocked look on his face.
“Well, not as bad as what he did! Mutilated my cows on the night of the Kingdom games! My fighters had nothing to eat. Because we lost, my people had nothing and starved for weeks!” shouted the red admin.
“Calm down, brother. I’m sure we can resolve this. The truth sets us free.” Said the blue admin as he patted his brother on the shoulder.
“Don’t you dare speak of truth! You’re the biggest liar of all! I know of your plans to overthrow me have been camouflaged under your kindness for me all this while!”
“I’ve had enough! It seems that we have to fight to claim rule over these lands! There can only be one sole rule of the kingdoms.” Screamed the admin with glasses as he threw his hands in the air.
“So be it, ex-brother of mine.” The red admin said.

The three admins left the room in separate directions with a common thought. ‘I must destroy them before they destroy me.’

It went on for weeks. The longest, most horrifiying war in Deitian history. Then one day, a young man, named Smcallah, dreamed of peace of the lands. He told his dream to one man. This man happened to be the one who found it in the first place.

Pennybags knew where the cake was hidden exactly. He sneaked Smcallah to the hiding place of the Dead Baker’s Cake. Smcallah hesitated to eat the cake, fearing he would not be the same person he once was. After much persuasion, he finally ate it.

Smcallah fought alone, his only weapon was the new knowledge he had. He brought down the fighting admins one by one until peace returned to the lands. He ordered the people of the kingdoms to cover the places where battles had occurred to destroy any symbols that would remind the people of the horrors of war. So if you see any tall mountains in the wild, say a prayer of the dead.

The cake, however was given a special hiding spot. Smcallah entrusted Pennybags to hide the Dead Baker’s cake. To this nobody except Pennybags knows the exact location of the Dead Baker’s cake. Some say it is under ImDeity’s throne. Some say it is in the heart of ImDeity’s statue. Many Deitians say the cake is only fiction. The cake is lie, they would say but I knew better. The cake… was the truth!

(Story by eriqmerc, thanks for writing!)

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