Benedict - the BakerBenedict, the baker, rubbed his hands over the smooth iron counter top, his eyes gleaming, no more nicks, no more scratches or warping! Iron was the best you could have. The pudgy baker rubbed his hands together and began prepping his next creation. He carefully placed an egg on the counter, then a pile of sugar, he then waddled into the back to grab the last ingredient. He reappeared with both arms wrapped around a pumpkin, he slowly waddled over to the counter and set it down heavily. There was a popping noise and the baker was thrown backwards. It took him a minute to get to his knees, and when he leaned on the counter to push himself up, he almost fell over again. It wasn't there! There was a metallic bang. The baker looked over, then up. "What..., how..., what the?" He stammered.
The iron golem just stood there looking at him.
"But.. I didn't even..., you're... By notches beard!"
Well, that was almost a hundred Dei down the drain. What was he going to do with an iron golem? It was just sitting there, staring at him. It shuffled it's feet noisily.
"Clean this up!" the baker commanded in frustration.
With surprising grace, the golem grabbed a broom and began. It even picked up an errant egg shell and threw it away.
The baker cautiously said, "you know what? Make me a cake."
The golem grabbed some eggs, sugar, and wheat, methodically combining them in a bowl. The baker watched with a grin spreading over his large face. He left the golem with the cake in the oven. His side still hurt from being bowled over. He would go rest, and the fun would start tomorrow. The fun didn't wait for tomorrow. The baker slept peacefully, but dozens of chickens did not. Farmers were woken up by the cracking and splitting of wooden fences. When the baker set out the next morning, he started whistling, as was his custom. He got a quarter of the way to his bakery, when the whistling stopped. He just stood there for a minute, surveying the destruction. In the distance, a bunch of horribly stressed chickens chased a man in a green cap. A huge sense of foreboding swept over the baker. He ran the rest of the way to the bakery. He could see the crowd gathered there, even before he arrived. He had to stop and catch his breath before he could push his way through the crowd. What was happening up there? He took huge gulps of air, the sense of foreboding growing. He eventually pushed his girth through the crowd and made it to the door. He had to force the door open, behind it was stacked a dozen cakes. So many cakes! Luckily the golem was so big that it had left a path through the piles that the baker could fit through. The golem itself was standing at the oven, waiting for the next cake to be done. "Stop, stop! For Notch's sake stop!" Benedict yelled.
The golem turned to look at him, the oven dinged. The golem kept looking at him.
The baker's practical side took over, "well, take it out."
There was an 'ahem' behind him. The baker slowly turned to see several farmers he recognized, one of them holding a dazed looking chicken.
"Free cake?" (Story by squeezal, 2nd place in "The WikiTales Contest" 2013)